100 Pros on Being a Short Ranger
by Andrew Storms
Summary: 100 Reasons why being a Ranger, or being short in general is a great thing. Who knew that Rangers got special bacon deals? And that ducking under tree branches can be such a skill? Who got Pie-d in the face? And why on earth is Will babysitting? Read on and all will be revealed.
1. Chapter 1

**New story, since I was reading one like this. Enjoy?**

**Reason 1: You can't get walloped by a tree**

Horace glanced at Will on his galloping horse. The wind and the houses flashed by like past memories.

For some reason, whenever he was riding his horse, that's the time when he was the most intelligent. The riding sensation gave him a feeling of calmness.

"So…" Horace called out to Will, "How's Alyss?"

Even though he couldn't see, Horace was sure Will was blushing like crazy.

"She's fine." He replied hurriedly.

"Sure…" Horace replied, not pushing it.

Looking forwards, he saw a man in the middle of the road, holding a sign of some sort.

Stopping his horse, Horace took a look.

Will stopped behind his friend.

The man looked at Horace and smiled. "Well, hello there!"

"Hello." Horace calmly replied with a smile.

"Sorry to tell you this, but the road's closed." The man said with a sad smile. "You have to take the forest path."

Horace nodded and thanked the man. Then he pulled his rein and galloped off to where the man pointed.

Will was a little more suspicious.

"How do we know he's telling the truth?" He asked.

Horace shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but it is unlikely that he was up to something."

Will nodded but still proceeded with caution.

Horace sighed. When will his friend calm down for once?

After a long while, Horace was tired of walking, and Kicker was tired of that too. At least he think he was.

"Will, can we gallop now?" He asked with a pleading voice.

"Fine, fine. Whatever Horace." Will replied.

With a sense of glee, Horace kicked Kicker and he took off with a gallop.

He was going so fast he didn't notice the tree branch right in front of him.

Will quickly galloped over to see his friend was faring.

Seeing the large bump, Will was very glad he was short.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks peeps for the reviews! I never knew people wanted this! Well here's number 2!**

**Reason 2: Harder for someone to slap a pie on you.**

Jenny nodded slowly.

"So why are we doing this again?" Gilan asked Jenny, not sure if it was a good idea.

"Everyone needs to loosen up!" Jenny cried out loud, "Even Will's down!"

Slowly nodding, Gilan's face turned into a grin.

"Will Halt be in the castle tomorrow?"

Jenny nodded hesitantly.

"Are you sure?" She asked, a bit worried now.

"OH YEAH!" Gilan cried, pumping his fists in the air. Jenny just hoped this was a good idea.

Will had ridden into the castle early in the morning.

For some reason, Jenny had sent him a message to come to the castle for something exciting. He had no idea what it was, but since he had nothing else to focus on, other than the war, he went anyways.

Unsaddling Tug, he grabbed an apple and fed it to the horse with a Horace-like appetite.

Walking over to the gate, he asked the guard where Jenny was.

The guard replied that she was in her restaurant.

While walking over to the restaurant, Will met Halt on the way. He smiled while he greeted his old mentor.

"So, how's the cabin?" Will asked. Halt just grunted.

"I had to hire a housekeeper. Like I don't know how to keep my own house clean…"

Will nodded. He knew how independent his mentor was.

"What do you think Jenny wants with us?" He asked, curious if his mentor knew anything.

"Donno."

Shrugging, Will continued to walk.

Finally arriving at the restaurant, Will noticed that it was closed.

Knocking on the door, Will waited with Halt.

Then…SPLAT!

Will stumbled back with a pie in his face. Halt, on the other hand ducked and was laughing his head off.

"Good thing I'm short…And Will deserved that"


	3. Chapter 3

**Reason 3 now! If anyone has any ideas, I would appreciate it! **

**Reason 3: Enemies don't really look down…**

Will ducked down again, to see another arrow flashing above him.

Cursing, he rolled and hid behind a rock.

The war against the forest men of Ra-gi had gone on for too long. The large men had the secrecy of Rangers and the sword skills of knights. The only thing they did not have were archers. But mercenaries took care of that.

And right now, Will had to find out what the mercenaries were paid with. After all, the forest men had neither gold nor anything of value. Right?

But now, he needed to fight. The man, who was holding a bow wasn't just going to sit down and wait for him to get up. No, he'll kill and then ask later.

Will sighed a the simple life of these forest men (And woman…), no worries except for food. Nothing else.

Unlike him. He had to balance Alyss, Evelyn, Horace, Halt, Gilan and Jenny with one hand, not including other rangers and even Erak!

It was very sad indeed. And then Halt came with the news on the war. Well, not exactly a war, but still, people did get hurt.

And now it's up to him to stop it.

Rising up, he quickly put an arrow to his bow. And with a quick look, released the arrow, straight at the tree behind the man.

The sound of the arrow alerted the man and he jumped back. He loosened an arrow and it flew straight over Will's head.

Annoyed, Will crouched and ran, hoping that his clock, thought as frayed as it is, could conceal him.

Luckily, it seems to do its work well. At least, the man didn't seem to notice.

Slowly but surely…Will crept up on the man…and…

"Well…" Will said, looking at the felled man, "You won't be having any babies soon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you all reviewers! I can't express how happy I am to see so many reviews, for only 3 chapters! And thank you Dodo.123 for this reason.**

**Reason 4: Old Ladies always love you!**

Halt glanced at Will. At first glance, you would think Halt was mad, but he was actually…

Wait…he was mad. Oops…. Actually, he was mad. My mistake.

Anyways, let's go into his mind, shall we?

'Will', He thought, a little pissed off, 'What are you doing?'

At first glance, he looked like he was just talking to some old ladies. But when you look again, he seemed to be getting something. Something very interesting.

"Why is Will getting so much candy!" Halt cried.

Stalking out the door, Halt walked up to Will to confront him. He was just in time to see Will trying out his cuteness.

"Ma'am," Will said with doggy eyes, "Do you know where my parents are?"  
>The old lady awwed and looked at the small boy.<p>

"Aww…Your so sweet." She said with a great big smile, "You'll find them. Would you like some candy?"

Will nodded and the lady handed him a bagful.

Halt grabbed Will by his tunic and pulled him back.

"What…Do…You…Think…You're…Doing…" He asked with menace.

The kind lady, pulled out her cane and whacked Halt on the head.

"What are you doing with the nice short boy?" She cried, "Help! There's an evil man here!"

After several tries, Will finally managed to drag a very lumpy Halt away from the crowd of old ladies. And from that day on, Halt was scared of old ladies.

And Will.


	5. Chapter 5

**I find yet another reason that a short ranger is awesome. Enjoy!**

**Reason 5: you can see things that could trip you.**

Will was just walking along, normally when someone decided to arrest him.

Well not so innocently…but still, no reason. Other than the fact that he was going to throw the governor of Iyvor into the moat (He learned it from Halt) he wasn't doing anything wrong.

At least, he didn't think he did anything wrong.

Walking along, Will looked around to see if there was any escape route. So far, there were none.

The guard was pretty smug.

"See Ranger!" He exclaimed with glee, "Not even Rangers can get away with trying to throw the governor in the moat!"

Will said nothing. This guard was probably an arrow short of a full quiver.

"Yeah, sure…" He replied, not really interested.

The guard snorted and continued on.

Will on the other hand, was now interested. They were coming upon a kitchen. And he knew, if there was a kitchen, there was something to slip on.

So, Will smartly kicked the guard in the shins and ran.

"Ahh!" Will screamed as he ran through the kitchen. Sadly, there was no one there to hear him.

"Guess I have to do this myself." He grumbled. And tried to pull out an arrow. But his quiver was gone so it looked strange.

He cursed and looked around for something to use to make the man mad.

And then, he spotted it. The holy item. The greatest thing of all.

A banana peel.

Will smiled happily as he spotted the guard. The man roared and charged at him like a bull. Will, of course, was holding a large piece of red cloth.

"Come on!" Will taunted, "How's my nice little sheep?"  
>"!"<p>

"Ok…"

And with that final remark, the man crashed into the kitchen and…right onto the banana peel.

Will winced as the saw the man go into a trash can.

"Ow…"


	6. Chapter 6

** Fire City Girl : Thank you for your review and ideas!**

** Rose218125: Not a bad idea neither. Thank you!**

** Dodo.123: Thank you for ALWAYS reviewing!**

** xbamsod: I'm glad you like it, thank you for reviewing!**

**What I find strange is the fact that in this story, I barely wrote 2000 words(1,607 to be precise), and I got 14, and for Imperial Spear (Going to update soon…(8,248 words) I only got 8. Odd…**

**Also…Thank you for waiting so long for another update. Summer has its faults too you know!**

**Edit: I, am very, very pissed at myself right now. After having a break, I seemed to go to lala land for too long, and now, I haven't updated in what? 2 years? O.O Sorry, so sorry, I had many things to do over the years, and homework. Bane of life. Ugh.**

**Anyways, I am going to try and continue this. I hope I can keep a promise of one update per week, but I'm also working on an epic fantasy on Fictionpress, so check that out too. Look me up: Stormknyght.**

**And now for the tale, that I have finally dug up from my previously virus infected files.**

**Reason 6: You are an ace at hide and seek!**

"Your kidding me right?"

Halt shook his head and looked at Will again.

"No, I am not kidding you." He replied, a trace of sarcasm in his voice, "I'm only asking you to jump off a cliff, do my dishes and save the world within six days, no extra days allowed.

Will sighed and shook his head. "No, I'm serious, do you mean it?"

"Why not?" Halt retorted.

Horace, who was watching all this, was very, very confused.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

The two rangers payed no attention to the young warrior.

"Come on! I'm not that young!"

"Yes you are, and you act that way too!"

Horace gave his Horace shrug of ignorance and annoyance ©, and screamed.

"WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING ON?"

Will stopped and stared at Horace.

"Um, Horace, It's What the **Hell** is going on, not shit."

Halt nodded in agreement.

Horace shook his head. "Never mind that. What are you guys talking about?"  
>Will looked at Halt with a murderous glint in his eyes. "I have to look for some suspicious papers, while looking after some children…"<p>

The young warrior shrugged. "Sounds fun"

"…As one of them."

The next day, which happened to be a sunny day, Will trudged into the schoolyard. The happy yells of the kids didn't affect him. In fact, it made him even madder.

Why was the world against him?

A loud crashing sound shook Will from his emo pit of despair.

It also broke his eardrums.

"AHHHH!" He screamed, covering his ears. With this bell, it was no surprise that the old people around here were deaf.

Shaking his head, he dragged his sorry self into the classroom.

Walking into the classroom, he noted that the door seemed to always be ajar. It would be a good escape route if needed.

And it seemed needed indeed.

As soon as he walked in a horde of screaming kids greeted him.

"Ok children," the teacher spoke, "This is a new student, and his name is…William."

Will cringed as he heard the sound of a classroom of children scream in name. Rangers always liked to be desecrate.

And how did he get into this mess? Horace was supposed to be here, but he somehow slipped away. Like a ranger, he would like to say, but Will felt like killing him instead. It was an interesting tale, but it would have to be saved for another date.

Regardless, Will was in a schoolhouse filled with children, and he was scared.

"Well, William, why don't you take a seat beside our good friend Phil here?" the teacher said. Will wanted to run, in fact, he was planning to until he remembered what Halt had said to him before he left.

"You leave, you die." And the scariest part was: Halt said it with a smile, A SMILE! Halt never smiled, unless he was killing something, and Will didn't want to be killed! He was a good boy!

So Will decided it was for the best if he stayed, for now of course. He would escape sooner or later.

Looking across from him, Will studied Phil. He looked bulky, somewhat like Horace before he went on his diet, and he wore a loose shirt and trousers. He had a mop of black hair on his head, and squinty eyes that made him look like a sneaky little badger.

Will noted this, and realized that this kid would be an annoyance. He would have to somehow get him off his trail, and it would take some work, since Phil seemed to be interested in Will.

Of course, if Will was to blend in, he would have to ditch his beloved rangers cloak and bow. He still carried his saxe, but in a sheath attached to his outer cloak, which he had taken off in the mud room. He didn't think he would have to kill anyone here, after all, they were children, but they looked like children not to be messed with.

The teacher droned on and on about the history of Araluen. Will already memorized it, and so he didn't pay any attention at all. Phil didn't pay any attention as well, though Will seriously doubted that he memorized the history as well.

"William!" The teacher called, "Who is our king right now?"

"Duncan." Will replied with a monotone.

"The pig butt." Some other voice said.

The class burst out laughing and the teacher looked enraged. No longer was she friendly, in fact, she looked more like a witch than woman.

"A week's detention." She stated, and Will looked at her in despair. "And you better not insult King Duncan again, unlike that Ranger Halt who did. Look where that got him? Exiled."

"And he saved his apprentice." Will shot back, "And he rescued the princess as well."

The teacher snorted like a dragon and made a don't-mess-with-me face.

"Two week's detention."

Will snorted and shrugged. His status as apprentice ranger should get him out of this. Well, when Halt comes back anyways.

Will sighed. He was sure Halt would come back, just after he was done his detentions. The joy of being an apprentice.

He startled up as he heard the huge bells ring again. And again, his ear-drums were destroyed.

Will gritted his teeth, but said nothing.

"Break time." The teacher announced. "Go outside and enjoy the fresh air!"

The children ran our screaming, and Will trudged after them. He needed to find out who framed him, and he was pretty sure who it was. And he knew exactly how to get back at him.

"Hide and Seek time!" Some child screamed and a few children gathered around. Will noted that his target was one of them, so he joined in.

After many confusing arguments on who would be it, and who the hell it was, why was it called it, why not a Ranger, what the hell does it mean, and why the hell is this game so confusing (Along with the question: Why am I using hell so much), they finally chose someone to seek.

Luckily, Will was not the seeker, and using his masterful skills, he went and hid in a tree outside.

Looking out from the branches, Will noticed that his target was getting closer. He hid behind Will's tree, so Will didn't budge, he just smiled and waited.

Kid after kid was caught, and Will just relaxed in his tree. None of the children had tried to look up. They were too focused on the ground, and everything on it. They picked up stones, and sticks, and everything else, and yet they still didn't bother to look up.

Will snorted, and Phil, his target finally looked up. He let out a scream as Will jumped right on top of him.

Of course, no ribs broke. That would mean Will would be carted off to jail, that, or he would be hung upside-down on a pine tree by Halt.

Will preferred the prison.

The scream had attracted children, and Will climbed back up the tree. Phil on the other hand, was now surrounded by children screaming: "You're caught!" and beating him with small twigs.

Will just smirked. You don't mess with a ranger. Especially when you're playing hide and seek.

**Review, please? I'm sorry, but please?**


	7. Chapter 7

**When I started them, I never assumed that it would be so successful…**

**Now, I'm glad I came up with this idea. Give me ideas, if you wish, and review. For every 2 reviews, I promise an update. So 2 reviews = 1 update, what does 4 reviews mean?**

**I'll let you think on that yourself. Also, vote on my poll. Up there, on my profile. **

**And other than that, enjoy. ~~~**

**Reason 7: You get the 2 for 1 pork deals!**

Horace huffed and puffed as he ran up the hill. It was not your average hill. No, this was the hill, or mount, that made Redmount, Red**MOUNT**.

Yes, Horace was not a common knight anymore. Well, he was never a **common** knight, but he was no longer a knight.

No! Don't just to conclusions! He wasn't exiled like Halt! What are you thinking? No, he was married; and not to any common girl.

Okay, maybe this is getting a little old. To sum it up, Horace was now Prince Horace.

So why was he huffing up a hill? Well, we need to rewind a little to figure that out.

"HORACE!" Princess Cassandra screamed with rage. Well, not exactly rage. It was a bit between amusement and anger.

Prince Horace, who was still trying to get used to Cassandra's increasingly strange demands hurried up to where the angered princess was.

"What's wrong now?" He asked dejectedly. He was still recovering after dragging a live, yes, live bear from the woods. Luckily he had Will's help and managed to sedate the beast with some warmweed arrows before going in to capture it.

But the bear was still awake at the time, and it was seriously pissed off about the fact that it has a frikin arrow stuck into him. And now there was a nice soft man to pound.

And so, the bear attempted to pound Horace. Horace, with all his warrior skills, did pretty well, but even so, he did get some purple bruises as tokens from the bear.

"I'm throwing a feast." Cassandra replied with a smile on her face. Horace privately groaned and sighed.

"Again?"

"Yes, again." Cassandra replied, "And this time, I need the finest meat. And the only place I trust is Redmount."

"Redmount?"

Cassandra sighed. "Yes Redmount, remember, the ward?"

Horace nodded. "Yes, I know Redmount, but I never realized they had fine meat." Then he thought about it. "Though it does explain why the Battleschool feasts are great."

Cassandra smiled, "Well, you better be off now, getting the meat."

Horace sighed. "I'll get Kicker."

Now do you understand why Horace was running up the hill? Yes? Good. Now we can continue with the real story.

Horace sighed when he finally saw the roof of the new butchery. It was a red slate roof with a pleasant shingle design.

He had to leave Kicker at the bottom of the hill. It was seriously steep (The hill, not Kicker) and a horse could fall down and break its leg if it attempted to climb up.

Horace grumbled and continued on his way, and was extremely surprised to see Will, just entering the shop.

"Will!" He called out, startling most of the starlings nearly. Will spun around and pulled out an arrow. He was notching it onto his bow, until he noticed that it was Horace that shouted his name.

"Oh Horace." Will said with a sigh of relief. "It's you!"

"Of course! Who else?" Horace replied. But for some reason, Will seemed a bit-off.

"Is something wrong?" He asked with some concern. Will laughed nervously and shrugged. "Nothing really. Why are you here?"

Horace gave Will a pained smile. "Cassandra." Will nodded understanding.

"Yes, having a wife is nice. They're great companions, and such, but sometimes, they ask you to do the craziest of things."

Horace walked towards the shop, leading Will behind him. "Yes, yes." He continued. "Oh and why are you here?"

Will finally smiled at that.

"Oh, there's a secret that only the Rangers know about at this place…"

Horace perked up, interested. "And that secret is…?"

Will smiled and shook his finger at Horace. "No, no, no. Only **Rangers** know."

Horace growled. "Will…"

Will shrugged. "Too bad, **Prince **Horace…"

"You…you…you…" Horace sputtered, trying to get his words out. Will raised his eyebrow. "What word are you looking for? Smart? Intelligent? Hansom?"

"Oh?" Horace replied. "We shall see…"

Will was a Ranger that has no fear. The only things that can scare him are Alyss in a rage, or Halt without his coffee.

But now he needed to add a new item: "Horace wanting to know a secret."

Will quickly backed off into the butcher's shop. There was no one working at the counter currently. Unfortunate for Will, since he needed some witnesses right now.

"Wait. Horace…wait…" Will sputtered. "We don't have to fight…"

Horace shrugged. "Then tell me!" Will noted that he sounded like a little child when he said that.

"Fine." Will said with a sigh. "Fine, fine, fine."

"Harold!" He called into the shop. A short stocky man walked out of the storeroom and smiled. "Ranger Will! How are you today?"

Will smiled back. "Harold. Good to see you again. Does the deal still stand?"

Harold grinned from ear to ear. "Of course! Rangers are my best customers!"

Will sighed in relief. "Good. I only brought enough for a pound of meat."

Horace looked in with curiosity. "What's this deal you're talking about?"

"Oh, it's something we made with Harold. I saved him from some very hungry wolves." Horace nodded, but Will continued, "And Bandits."

"And scorpions!" Harold added with a smile.

Horace wondered how someone could be so happy after being attacked by Bandits and Wolves.

"And Scorions!"

"Hey how did you-?"

Will just smiled. "You had that ridiculous look on your face that made you look like you were being tickled with a mace.

"A mace?"

Will shrugged. "Yes a mace or an axe if you want. Both ways, you scrunch your eyes up like a squinty bear that's constipated."

Horace grumbled something about annoying pesky rangers and Will turned to Harold.

"Okay, a pound of bacon, smoked of course, and since I'm a Ranger-."

"I doubt that." Horace grumbled and Will turned to glare at him. "Fine, fine…"

"You better shut up, or else I'll give you a lesson is moat swimming."

Horace rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

Will coughed and continued. "As I was saying: Since I'm a Ranger, I get the 2 for 1 pork deal. So 2 pounds of bacon please."

Horace rolled his eyes this time.

"Now I know why you're getting fat."

**Review! Please!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: Dear apologies after been gone for so long. Thank you for those who've still stuck with this tale. I hope dearly that you can enjoy what written works I may create. No reviews required, though assistance would be highly appreciated. Additionally, I will be going back and reworking some of the chapters, correcting some minor errors and such.**

**Reason #8: You're jokes are treated like threats (And vise versa).**

Will's eyes traced across the ship's deck and up onto the mast itself. The rocking of the ship made his focus a bit off, but he was glad that it wasn't out on the open sea. Then the boat would really roll.

The Ranger was going down the river after tracking down a nice trading barge that had gone missing after an emerald trade. Will had gone to track down the place, and it had led him to a nice little town beside the river that had a bunch of pirates in it.

The pirates were a disagreeable bunch, but after a little smile and flashing his silver oakleaf, they nicely told him that the emerald barge was wandering off to. And now he was on a river boat that was willing to take him down to where the barge was going down to.

"Hey there, Sir Ranger. We're almost at the place." The skipper of the boat said quickly as he walked over to Will. His hands were twisting around themselves uncomfortably and he smelled like sweat. "So, I was wondering how much you will pay for this voyage…?"

Will shook his head clear before replying.

"I don't suppose keeping your ship counts?"

The skipper's eyes widened and his hand dropped down to his sword before he remembered who he was talking to.

"I suppose, but, why?"

Will paused and exhaled before nodding towards deck. Or more specifically, what's below the deck. He had seen the slaves laboring underneath the wooden panels, and how mistreated they were. And the skipper knew what Will was talking about.

"I'm assuming you'll let them go?"

The skipper grimaced but nodded before heading off again into his cabin for a good sulk. Will continued to stare out into space, wondering what he would do to recapture the barge.

Will's foot touched land, and he sighed in relief. Though he wasn't as seasick as Halt, he still remembered those horrible days on the Wolfwind when he was captured, and that memory always stayed with him throughout his career.

But now, straightening up, he took his first look at the thieves' haven. He hadn't realized that there was such a thing until he arrived here. In fact, he still couldn't believe that it exists. It didn't have the look of a thieves' haven. In fact, it looked like a sparkling town where nobles would go to gather for some kind of event.

The buildings weren't trashed or wrecked. Pleasant aromas were floating around and tempting everyone to go and eat. Even the people didn't look like hardened thieves.

Will was tempted to turn around and grab the skipper and bang his head against a ship a few times before asking if he got the place right when a man stopped in front of him and nodded.

"Hello sir. If you wish to stay here, you must pay a small fee to keep our town nice and thriving."

Will hadn't donned his green ranger's cloak, so he looked like any other man, and he decided he didn't want to ruin the surprise right now.

"Oh? How much might that be?"

"I'll say… how does 200 Royals sound?"

Will's eyes widened in shock. Never had he heard of such highway robbery. Normal fees might go as high as 10 Royals, but never 200. It was confirmed then. This was a thieves' haven. Even the tariff collectors were thieves.

Grimacing, Will reluctantly drew out his purse and counted out 100 Royals.

"This is all I have right now."

The man shrugged. "Very well. If you wish to leave, you must pay the rest of the fee." And with that he turned around and walked away. The Ranger watched the man leave and sighed. He was sure he'll never see those Royals ever again.

Venturing into the town, he decided to head into a tavern to see what he could hear. Stepping into the first one he saw, which happened to be called the "Green Emerald", he wondered if there was any reason for the name, but made no comment.

The interior of the tavern finally looked a bit like a thief's den. The paint on the walls were chipping off and there was smoke and smog floating barely above your head. Will had to duck to avoid something flying at him, which happened to be a mug.

Walking past the commotion, he settled into a table at the corner and beckoned a waitress over.

What walked over looked a bit like a crossover between a mongoose and a furry bear. Will stared at the strange creature for a moment before deciding to call over another waitress.

"Ahem. I am here you know?"

Will flinched. He had assumed the creature was some kind of pet of some sort. He didn't expect it to talk. Or be able to see what he was doing.

"Ah, yes. I see, you are here…" Will thought hard for a while, trying to phrase his question in the nicest way possible.

"Um. What the hell are you?"

"How rude!" The thing cried out. "I am a perfectly human girl." And the girl finally managed to push some of her hair back, so that she actually had a face to look at Will with. And as soon as she saw his face, her eyes widened.

"Is it really you?" she whispered excitedly.

Will moved back slightly, wondering what the heck the lady was talking about.

"Wait, it is!" The girl shrilly cried out. "It's the famous Ranger Will!"

"Ack!" Will managed to cry out before grabbing the girl and covering her mouth with one of his hands.

"Shhh!" he frantically whispered, looking around to see if anyone noticed the outburst. Apparently no one did, and he calmed down slightly.

"No one should be allowed to know…I should probably kill you now and get over it…"

The mongoose- Ahem. Girl flinched and bit down on Will's mouth. The Ranger cried out in pain, which managed to attract some attention.

"HELP! THIS MAN WILL KILL ME!"

Everyone in the tavern froze, including Will until the bartender broke the silence.

"Good, good. Get rid of the mongoose thing, why won't you?"

Will nodded, nursing his hand before grabbing the girl and hauling her outside.

Once they were outside, the mongoose- damn it, Girl, looked slightly more scared.

"Oh, Ranger…you won't kill me will you?"

"No, damn it…" Will hissed. "That was a joke…and it fell flat on it's face it seems…"

**Part Two coming Sooon.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note****: Apologies if the last chapter wasn't as good. I did it on a 10 minute spurge since I haven't touched the thing in a long, long time. Regardless, hello, I am alive, and will be reworking the chapters soon, but first of all, we need this chapter! Part 2:****  
><strong>  
><strong>Reason #9: You have always have the most igneous plans.<strong>

Looking into the mongoose's eye-And yes, I shall be calling her a mongoose now- Will kept his gaze piercing and cold. The mongoose shivered and tried to give him a weak smile.

"Um. By any chance will you let me go?" she asked in a squeaking voice. Kinda fitting if you think about it.

"Well, you have to understand, I'm not in a good mood." Will replied sounding kind of bored. "And when I'm not in a good mood, bad things usually happen to people."

"Oh dear. I do hope you had mercy on those people." the mongoose replied, stuttering now. Will looked away and shrugged.

"No. I threatened to send them to Halt. That was usually enough to make them faint."

The mongoose shivered and felt herself slowly losing consciousness...What on earth would Halt do to her?

Will shrugged. "But then again. I'm talking about people. And you're a mongoose."

The mongoose looked up sharply and glared and Will before spitting out some words.

"I. Am. Not. A. Mongoose."

Will smirked and began to draw his saxe knife. "Oh dear. Better get you to Halt then.."

"Oh. You're mistaken. I'm a mongoose, I'm a mongoose."

Nodding Will continued to smile. "Well, little annoying mongoose that nearly blew my cover. I'm assuming you'll help me now?"

The mongoose thought it over for a few seconds. On one hand, if she didn't, she'll probably get killed. If she did, she'll probably get killed. It was another lose-lose situation.

She sighed. "All right. What do you need help with?"

Will smiled, satisfied. This time, he had a person that actually knew the place, what where the hell he should be right now, since he really had no idea. He knew the pirates are around here…on general terms, but unsure where they were really.

"So. Has anything passed though this place recently? Anything suspicious?"

The mongoose glared at Will's stupidity.

"Oh sure, lots of things. You do realize that this is a thieves' town? Obviously nothing suspicious happens. We have Rangers patrolling all over the place with their bows, and a bunch of Elite Knights standing on guard. Duh."

Will gave her a look of annoyance but she made her point. It was true that in such a place, trying to pin down one illegal barge was like trying to find a needle in a haystack. That Horace was thrashing around in.

Needless to say, that image was slightly amusing and Will smirked slightly. And that gave him the bright idea he needed.

Typically, if Horace gets stuck in a haystack (Which actually happens quite often, contrary to belief. No one's sure how the King gets stuck in such an awkward situation. It just happens), the normal thing he would do was thrash about until the haystack gives up on keeping its shape and breaks apart, due to the kingliness of Horace.

Regardless, it's always a hell to clean up, but Horace usually gets free. And that's exactly the strategy Will would use. If he couldn't find a needle in a haystack, he'll thrash about until the needle gives up hiding and starts a new job as an office assistant or something.

Leaning over to the mongoose, Will whispered in her ear, speaking his plan. The mongoose nodded before finally allowing a broad smile spread all over her face.

"Oh. That's interesting."

~*(Can someone tell me how to make line breaks normally?*~

"Did you know that the Rangers are coming?"

"Rangers? Did someone say Rangers?"

"Oh yes, and they're looking for an Emerald barge."

"What? An emerald barge? Didn't that thing come in recently?"

"Oh dear. We better kick that thing out. We don't want Rangers coming here!"

"Who's going to kick them out? No one can really enforce it! This is a thieves' town for goodness sakes!"

"Well someone's have to. I heard that a Ranger is here already! He was kicking out a mongoose or something…"

The mongoose grimaced, but knew that the plan was working. The thieves' love of shadows made them paranoid of anything coming to arrest any of them. And they would do anything to keep those shadows around them, even stooping to kicking out their own.

Will was waiting out by the docks when the thieves' from the Emerald barge came running out, and it was no difficulty arresting them and throwing them onto their own barge and sailing off.

And he didn't pay the rest of his toll.


End file.
